borrowed mind

by canis lupus

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not good, but okay.


released September 12, 2015

for marid



all rights reserved


canis lupus Eugene, Oregon

hey there.
i hope you're having a wonderful day.
don't listen to this stuff.

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Track Name: endowed
i lay in my bed trying to sleep realized this stopped being my home
and i cling to you while you're moving on.
your lyrics cling to my walls
they're starting to look so small
as i'm sleeping still, quietly in the snow
the cold takes me
like a kiss on my sleeve,
i'm along for the ride
hoping for things to change.
though i'm a second thought
at least i'm a thought at all.
it's the only thing that keeps me alive
unimpressive and underwhelming
looking at the glass on the wall
tired about what's looking back
i fucking hate myself, think about something else
wow long til i change
don't want to miss a thing
i don't plan on leaving
but i feel the road thinning below
my feet as i leave the ground.
god help me endow
a better head on my shoulders
and a way to make the world stop spinning
Track Name: tinfoil
suppress your thoughts of what's come, the bad will get better
work out the issues of your mind, things will get better
lie beside me here tonight, ignore the bad weather
pretend your on a cloud, the world is below you
imagine this is all yours, or at least for a moment
all the trees and things that grow, do so to impress you
the strongest ones I know, will cry on occasion
as the little kids dance and run, and play to the music
the grass is never green, to those who can't see.
the kids who grew up alone, don't know the difference
resolve the conflicts of your life, its worth it to worry
about the things going bump in the night they're only memories
painting this world in black and white, cuz colors are useless
if your eyes are shaded grey, from the cuts and the bruises
momma told you to be strong, but her words are useless
those images were sewn in your mind like a patch to my arm
those bleeding lines placed in your mind, came from a knife you
stole from your brothers room, its a shame to be like this
why has age done this to you you, just play with your legos
the night is young and so are you, so talk with your night light
who needed friends anyways, you've still got the voices
Track Name: forevermore
listen to the trees they sigh
i lie awake by your side
i watched you sleeping last night
the seasons change in time
the redwoods dot the sky
i'm still scared of flying
but with you forever's fine.
last night i felt the earth move
a dried up lake now in bloom
i dedicate this to you
the trees all sing at night
i hold you close this time
we watched the world unwind
and with you forever's fine.
we flooded empty rivers
traced the outline drawn on your shirt
sharing air in the back of a truck
you stayed when you could have left
and i'm still scared to death but
most days i think of you and
forever doesn't seem so bad
you smile i feel my heart melt
the joyous pain that i felt
against my better judgment
fire ignites the sky line
i had a dream where i died
but you were there by my side
so i'll dream of you forevermore
Track Name: ghostboy
he picks up where he left off
and he thinks about all those times
specific emotions about
nothing in particular this time
he cries himself to sleep on a wednesday
but by friday he’s fine
theres nothing wrong with the taste of his salad
but today its all gone
he walks alone for the most part it seems
but tomorrow he’ll go
chasing dogs and cats for the most part
he’ll never come home
lost for words while he’s thinking of verbs
the articulations all wrong
talking circles at a stranger
but they don’t know the song
afraid to sleep cuz the monsters under
my bed still need to eat
close the door dear the ghosts are still here
they’re trapped in my head
Track Name: thankyou
all those times you talked with me kinda makes me think that it was all a dream
but i can't recall waking up in the harshness of dawn and all of this going away
you were the first kids to talk to me about all the things that went on at this new school
always there by my feeble side making sure that i never threw myself to the dogs
now i watch as we grow up and start to think how did i get such wonderful friends
waking up on a sunday feeling so shitty but never more glad that i stayed
finished making some music playing at schools and leaving this fucking world behind
taking walks through the trails at home talking about life and the things that surly should come
and you would talk to me about all those things no one ever would say the ones deep in my brain
Always walked me to classes thanks for taking a chance on the new kid who has no friends
never thought i would wind up with someone who'd stand up and fight for my growing voice
i love you all with the deepest roots that my heart gives you and i never want this to end
starting pits at school dances how fucking dandy nothing will ever be like it was
watching rain fall in portland thinking of all those wonderful times spent back in my town
sit around waiting for your call when you get home Washington's to far from us all
watching the movie you made us crying and begging that we will never forget those time
your song floating in my head haunting my memories reminding me of all that i cared
Track Name: the forest
did you hear that my son
i think your mother is, i think your mother is
singing through the trees
she didn't mean what she said, she didn’t mean what she said
no harm was done
i think it's time to come home, i think its time to
come home and rest
the forest will be there in the morning
there's no need to protest
she didn't mean what she said, she didn’t mean what
she means only the best
can't you hear her weep can’t you hear her cry
all the times we've spent
i think it's time we went, i think its time we went
your a child, a lost soul
all this energy you have spent
don't it deter you
from doing what you meant, from
don't worry your head
you mother loves you so
so climb into bed
rest your precious head
Track Name: borrowed mind
there's something in the basement
i can hear it clawing
at things i haven't thought about in years.
carving away at the things i love the most
it's tied to the radiator
i can hear it breathing
as it's crawling up and down the wall.
the voices are clearer
when brightness is dimmer
why can't you hear me
i'm screaming in here.
i've been trapped drowning in my past
waiting for my reprieve.
i stand amid wood and wire hoping to
piece this all back together.
jesus help me i hear the voices
they’re getting close.
how long the dark played in my brain
and how long my thoughts have antagonized my pains .
i sit with a borrowed mind
hoping one day i find my own.